Someone has put their lips together and blown for the Unemployed Lawyer[2]. I have received a request to develop a part of this site to assist 3Ls and recent graduates who have had their offers rescinded or who simply do not have an offer.  Either way, they are up against an obscenely hard market, with big student loan debts, ruined hopes (at least for now), and probably a great deal of fear.

Sometime earlier today, I found that a number of first-year associates, only a few months into their legal careers, may also be in need of help. I do not know if it is true, but Above the Law is claiming that Proskauer Rose included “a number of first year associates” among the 35 lawyers it laid off last week. According to ATL, whose report is unconfirmed by Proskauer, the first-years were fired for, among other reasons, failing to pass the bar or having poor summer associate reviews. I’m not going to touch the latter reason with a ten-foot pole. The usual bunch of dull-witted, wool-headed (really), bombastic blowhards who hang around on ATL all day rather than working (I wonder why) have said more than enough on that issue. If you really want to, go read the comments; but if you’re reading this, I have to assume you have different tastes.

Being somewhat like a Labrador Retriever, the Unemployed Lawyer answers to almost any whistle. Call me anything; just call me. Of course, I will try to build something helpful. While I do it, I suggest that you look at the Corporations page, itself a work in progress. As I have reviewed the websites I have linked to, I’ve noticed that many of them seem to have special recruiting programs or pages for entry-level professionals. I try to add to the Corporations page every day.

Usually, I do not give advice. I’m simply opinionated and bewildered and neither of those qualities makes me eligible to advise anyone. However, I am experienced at starting a law career, having done it myself, and I’m going to engage in some Friendly Persuasion[3].

First, if you haven’t passed it already, give everything you’ve got to passing that bar exam. Don’t worry if you failed the first time; don’t worry if you’re not a test-taker (IMHO a lot of truly excellent lawyers are not, because tests like the Multi-State are entirely too confining for a problem-solving mind). You don’t need to ace this test; you just have to pass by one lousy point. So do whatever you have to do. Make sure to take a prep course. Buy computer sample tests. Take them and take them again. Find a quiet place to study. Study with a group. Whatever it takes. BUT PASS THAT TEST. You can’t practice without it.

Second, and you won’t like it, lower your expectations. If you don’t have an AmLaw 250 offer firmly in hand, and even if you do in these days, be prepared to work somewhere else and to make less than the nation’s top salary. I’m sorry to say it, but not all of you were going get that opportunity anyway. Ignore those ATL idiots with their “TTTs” and other quaint sayings. There’s nothing wrong with working and learning and earning, and eating is a very nice thing, too. Work where you’re wanted, and for the right reasons. You’ll be a lot happier. You’ll also start building a resume so if you’re still bent on big firm practice, you can lateral in lateral, after all the mockers and haters have been fired for incompetence.

I’ll also point out, even though you will probably be angry at me, that you are or have recently been students. Futons, roommates, Kraft dinner, ramen noodles, etc.? I know, I know, you hate me, but absence of a big firm job does not interrupt your lifestyle or leave you with mortgages and other such obligations that many practicing lawyers have in addition to loan payments. You haven’t started yet. You don’t have to adjust. You just wish you had to do it.

Third: be flexible about your practice area. You don’t know until you’ve tried. I can attest to that. You may think corporate work is really dull, but not after you’ve negotiated a multi-million dollar deal. You may think litigation is too scary for you, but you’ll talk to judge and jury in you r sleep when you know your case inside out. You may have a hidden flair for bankruptcy, employment, energy, environmental, real estate, taxes, or trusts and estates. Try what anyone asks you to try. You may be pleasantly surprised and you’ll earn a lot of team player points as well.

I could go on, and maybe will in weeks to come. I will, as always, ask others to comment and contribute. I won’t say don’t worry, because you should be worried. But help is on the way.

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[1] To Have and Have Not, Warner Bros. Pictures, 1944, directed by Howard Hawks, starring Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall.
[2] See, id., "You just put your lips together and blow."
[3]Allied Artists Pictures, 1956, directed by William Wyler, starring Gary Cooper, Dorothy McGuire, and the Goose.