“Exile is a dreadful thing for one who know his rightful place” [1]. Stage Beauty. A beautiful line, a beautiful delivery, for me, a truly transformational movie; a movie that lifts me right out of myself and draws me into its world so I can live there, instead of here, for 106 gorgeous minutes at a time. It’s a work of glory, humor, pain, and hope. I’ve loved it ever since it came out in 2004. I can watch it over and over again. It’s the most relevant work in the world to me right now, and I think that all unemployed lawyers can feel the absolute truth of my opening quotation.

For aren’t we all in exile? We’re locked out of our daily routines, our offices, our associations, our places in the world. I rode an elevator to the 44^th floor yesterday and found it strange, because I have no reason to enter high rise buildings anymore. Simple little things like that daily remind me that I am locked out; banished.

I know, or knew, my rightful place. I can say with no feeling of puffery or braggadocio that I am, was, might still be, will be again, a damned good lawyer. That, you see, is one of the worst things about exile. It plants fear and confusion that twist their ways into you the longer the exile continues. Doubt begins to grow. I know what I once was, but doubt what I am right now. I am afraid.

Little things, trivial things, that once framed my day, are now beyond my reach. I can’t remember the last time I met a friend or colleague for lunch. When there’s no income, there’s no money for restaurants. I am exiled socially as well, because I’m too stubborn to ask my friends to pay. Then I begin to doubt my friends because I don’t get to see them, which is utterly unfair, but still part of this twisting poisonous worm of self-doubt caused by exile.

One of the reasons I love Stage Beauty is that the main characters find ways to release themselves from doubt and despair. In the end, they do so simply by doing it. They find or remember their rightful places and take them.

That is the way for all of us. Remember that exile is dreadful. Be angry that it’s dreadful and you are in it. Think every day of some way to fight it or it will overwhelm you. It will always overwhelm you on one day or another, but don’t let it stay. Remember how to untwine it. Be sure you know your rightful place and hold to that knowledge. Hold it hard, because if you have no doubts, then someday you will be able to claim it again.
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[1]Stage Beauty, Qwerty Productions, 2004. directed by Richard Eyre, starring Billy Crudup and Claire Danes.