My last two days as the Unemployed Lawyer have been very interesting. I am receiving unsolicited job offers from a company in Abu Dhabi; a bank I’ve never heard of daily sends me notices that it is going to shut down my accounts; and my website asks my approval to post comments that are nothing but gobbledy-gook. Will groups of men in trench coats soon show up at my door? Will I be staring at my computer screen and simply fall through it, like Alice Through the Looking Glass? Maybe Morpheus will finally appear to me and reveal that all this time I’ve been fighting my way through the meaningless Matrix [2]. It could be a very exciting time.

On the other hand, maybe it’s just the Confidence Pixies chomping down on my ankles. I had the audacity two days ago to write that things were looking up. I know better than that. We all know better than that. An elephant will always fall on the heads of the over-optimistic or over-enthusiastic. I don’t take it personally; it’s just business.

And we certainly are back to business as usual. The NLJ reports that Kirkland and Ellis has laid off 15-25 income partners and senior associates in the Chicago office. Clifford Chance plans to cut 80 in its London Office. Parker Poe in Charlotte laid off 13 attorneys and 15 staff. Wildman Harrold has cut five partners and five associates. And it’s all in a day’s work.

I don’t have much time left to write. I have to go look up elephant diets, buy the necessary supplies, and get my hands on a great big shovel. At least I’m pretty good at that.

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[1] Liberty Films, 1946, directed by Frank Capra, starring James Stewart.

[2] Groucho II Film Partnership, 1999, directed by Andy Wachowski, Larry Wachowski, starring Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss.